


The Scariest Thing is the Numbers on their Backs

by SageMage



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I suck at writing, idk don't ask me, theyre very ooc, what even is tagging?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMage/pseuds/SageMage
Summary: Kageyama is still affected by his middle school trauma. Poor baby.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: These ooc terribly written volleydorks aren't mine but the terribly written part only applies on my end. Oh well. 
> 
> PLEASE READ TAGS  
> And Ik I suck at writing .-. don't ask me what this is. 
> 
> ... Yeah

It's all Hinata's fault, Kageyama thinks when the ball crashes to the ground. It's Hinata's fault because despite his crazy jumping ability he is only human and humans get sick. 

Maybe Kageyama is overreacting but then again, Hinata hasn't ever missed practice before and hey, muscle memory, so it isn't like Kageyama is to blame when the game situation is perfect for a freak quick but his partner isn't there to finish. 

Thud. The ball hits the ground and the echo resounds. His breathing picks up because the other team (the other half of his team, for a scrimmage that has gone from first to last thing on his mind in the time it took for the ball to hit the ground) looks stunned and he won't turn around, he can't turn around because his teammates won't be there. They'll be walking off and he'll just see their backs and he will be the only one left. Again. 

It isn't fair, it isn't his fault. Don't go, he thinks desperately. All he wants is to win, is to do his job as a setter because it's such a hard position. He wants to draw out his teammates potential. His tosses are amazing and are synced to their highest capabilities, if only they would try their hardest to match the tosses. Setting is really mentally exhausting. If the toss is perfect but the spiker screws up the toss is forgotten and the spiker scolded. If the toss is perfect and is spiked it's a “YES!” and “NICE KILL!” but the toss is forgotten. It's so tiring, never being acknowledged but Kageyama wishes to disappear, to make his teammates amazing. 

Maybe they don't want to be amazing, though. Now they're leaving. The toss falls with no one there to spike it and his so called team walks away and the other team just gapes at him because he's the last one on the court and everyone has left him. 

Just like then, his breathing picks up but unlike then he doesn't turn around because he knows there's no one there. They must be long gone already. He can't stand it, everyone leaves. Everyone always leaves. God, he can't fucking breathe because of course they're gone. Kageyama doesn't even remember that Hinata wasn't at practice today. He just thinks about how of course he pushed too hard, that dumbass (whether it's him or Hinata he isn't sure), and of course Hinata got fed up with him and left him. 

His eyes prickle with tears and he runs of out the gym, sprints far, far away (just around the corner seems really far when you can't fucking breathe) and sits down. He pulls his knees to his chest and buries his eyes in his knees and closes them and his hands are over his ears clawing into his head and it's so so dark and he can't breathe, maybe he's drowning but no one cares because no one is here because of course they all left and he's alone. Just like last time but he made it off the court. 

He is scared and cold and alone and he doesn't hate it. He doesn't have anything against it, it's just he's sitting here freezing and drowning and probably dying all alone, but he doesn't hate it. It's just rather unpleasant but it isn't insufferable or anything. It happens occasionally. He can't breathe and then he dies but it's okay because sometimes he wakes up. He thinks. He can't really remember because he's going to drown soon and everything is cold and it's dark and pitch black out. If he's outside. Maybe that's just what death looks like.  
_________________________________

Yamaguchi is across the net from Kageyama, not on his team, when the ball thuds to the floor. Yamaguchi doesn't gape when the ball hits the floor because of course that was bound to happen with half the oddball duo missing. No, Yamaguchi picks up on Kageyama's breath hitching and picking up. He sees the haunted look in the genius setters eyes. Kageyama dashes out and Yamaguchi sends an alarmed look towards Tsukishima. Tsukishima looks bored in turn but slowly nods at Yamaguchi. 

“Leave it to me,” he states in the most bored manner possible and walks out of the gym. Now people are staring at Yamaguchi and the door Tsukishima just strutted out of. 

“I-It's fine, trust Tsukki!” Yamaguchi stutters. His teammates look worried, but they trust him, too and know how both get when they're stubborn. Not to mention not only does Asahi look like he's about to cry (that's nothing new) but Tanaka does too, legitimately worried for his grumpy kouhai. And they have no idea what's going on, so there's that.  
_________________________________

Kageyama is on a ship and he's almost to the bottom of the sea, he must be because it's cold and black and he's drowning and now he's rocking back and forth but it's completely out of his control. He can't even lift his head because the water pressure weighs down on him everywhere he's so deep. 

The boat sinks and sinks and sinks and Kageyama rocks and rocks and he's shivering. Did he mention it was cold? 

He jumps when he feels something warm draped over his shoulders because now he's trapped- has something come to eat him? He is terrified.

“Oi,” Tsukishima quips, holding back the insult or king comment on the tip of his tongue. Yamaguchi gets like this sometimes too, a small ball of anxiety. Small trainwreck, that is. Tsukishima keeps talking, hoping his voice gets through to the pathetic mess before him. 

“You're okay, yeah? You're alright. I need a favor though,” Tsukishima knows he is pushing harder than he does with Yamaguchi but not by much and the king should be able to handle it. He remembers a trick, calling Yamaguchi by his first name usually helps him come back up. “Tobio can you hear me?” He observes the boy twitch. “Tobio, Tobio I need you to look up. Put your head up for me?”

Kageyama hears someone talking but they aren't making any sense. He's drowning and they're talking somehow and they want him to look up. Why aren't they helping him? Why can't he see them? “Can't,” he grunts out in distress. The person asks to touch him and he says okay. If they touch him they must be real, right? A hand is on his chin, tipping his head up and the water pressure is gone. ‘This person must be really strong,’ he thinks, ‘if they can just make all the water go away like that.’

Tsukishima gently lifts Kageyama's head by his chin, keeping his hand beneath in place to support the trembling boy. His eyes are pinched shut though, not good. Tsukishima already got permission to touch his shaky teammate and he wraps an arm around Kageyama, pulling him in to reassure him and holding his head up. That at least makes him uncurl a bit. Hopefully holding him close will help his breathing as well. 

Suddenly Kageyama is warm. He feels a little less terrified but he's still shivering. He's not being crushed by the water at least. The voice calls out to him again; “Tobio do you know who I am?” He shakes his head. “Would you like to?” He nods. At least he thinks he does. In reality his head just twitches a bit but Tsukishima is closely watching to see where he's at. Observant asshole. 

“Tobio, wanna know a trick? Just open your eyes, neh? You'll be able to see me. You'll know who I am, you won't be alone, okay?” Tobio nods again. The voice wants him to open his eyes. He understands, but his eyes are heavy. It's quiet and he panics but the voice reassures him to take his time, the voice won't leave. 

Kageyama blearily looks up at Tsukishima. Confusion in his muddled sea blue eyes clears in recognition but returns with recognition. Kageyama leans against Tsukishima and listens to his breathing and his heart and tries to match his. It takes a little while. 

“Tsukki…?” Is all he can force out when he decides he's ready to try. He needs to apologize, god he's such a burden he must've panicked in front of everyone. His breathing picks up again as he remembers what happened but then a warm, slender hand is slipping through his hair and it's so soothing, so nice. 

“Hey now, don't do that again. You're okay now… Your Highness” Tsukishima adds snarkily. Kageyama wants to fight him and or apologize but he really doesn't have any energy left and he physically can't right now. But he must he needs to apologize and then go die in a hole of embarrassment he needs to- “Don't.” Tsukishima says firmly. One word from the worlds biggest asshole (tsundere?) and he stops worrying. This is his team, they won't leave no matter what and even though his fears sadden them they want to help him get over them. They won't leave and they'll come back for him too. 

The realization that comes along with one word is really very nice and they sit (slump on Tsukishima on the wall) for ten more minutes before Kageyama starts trying to sit up. Tsukishima understands what he wants and stands. There is no way he's carrying the king though. Never. Nope nope nope. And the King won't want to feel totally useless, he reasons. He settles with looping an arm under Kageyama’s and slinging Kageyama's arm over his shoulders. He supports most of Kageyama's weight too but doesn't say anything. At the door he pauses to adjust his glasses but really he's giving Kageyama a minute to compose himself. 

They walk through and the serving and receiving drill stops for just a second as they all stare but turn around again quickly. Tsukishima and Kageyama go to sit on the bench, leaning back and sipping water quietly and all in all its a very peaceful, relaxing sort of quiet. 

Later, Kageyama is stunned awake by a camera flash and chorus of “time to go home!” To his mortification, he lifts his head of Tsukishima’s shoulder. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi take him home, one on each side, and it's very nice, not being alone. It's also reassuring that there are people willing to walk with him that aren't hyper orange fluff balls. 

The next day, Hinata is relentless with teasing (in an only slightly nasally voice) about the pictures “Noya-sempai texted me!” He never finds out what a mess his partner is without him, though.


	2. IMPORTANT A/N- To My Reader

Guys, firstly this is going up as like an extra chapter on all my fics but I just wanted to say thank you all so, so, so much for the kudos and comments! As someone who is constantly told by teachers, peers, parents, and other people in my life that my writing stinks or isn't good enough, nothing makes me happier than the emails i get whenever guests or other members of the archive leave comments and kudos. I greatly appreciate the kudos, and I love comments. Comments help me to improve my writing and writing style, as well as helping me identify stronger points instead of getting discouraged. Thanks for the extra time spent on comments- constructive criticism is also greatly needed and appreciated. Overall, thanks for giving this piece a try, and if you make it to this and don't like it thank you for persevering anyways. Thank you for opening the piece. And lastly, thank you for giving me a chance.

**Author's Note:**

> Ewww it's so ooc. All of it. This is terrible. Kudos to those of you who actually made it to the end. Congrats. Also thanks cuz this really stank.


End file.
